Gaining your child's trust happens in the everyday interactions you have with her. This trust is enforced when you, as her parent, are willing to engage in talking about difficult topics including money, media usage, and intimacy. You, like the eons of parents before you have probably avoided these topics out of fear, believing you lack the ability to teach these topics in a manner that will be most effective. But the reality is, you already have everything you need to teach these topics and be successful.
You have a front row seat to your child's life and can influence your child's development in a natural process that will help shape her into who she will become. For your influence to be effective, you must capitalize on her readiness to learn. This is done as you observe your child, recognize when she's ready to learn, and not put off her questions (Packer, 1977). Here are 3 principles that when used, will help you trust yourself to navigate teaching and talking about the hard things.
Principle 1: BE CONSISTENT
Difficult topics become more difficult the longer you wait to begin talking about them and the longer you wait in between talking about them. Listen to cues from your child to help you know when to bring up these topics with her (Packer, 1977). Also, be consistent in your behavior, keeping negative emotions under control and expressing love to your child continually (A Parents Guide 1985). This will help you remain calm and feel more confident when she is ready to learn, even if you are not.
Principle 2: PROVIDE A POSITIVE EMOTIONAL CLIMATE
Hard conversations become easier and more natural when you are comfortable. Creating an atmosphere that is warm, comfortable, secure, is free of judgement, and which fosters unity, brings feelings of peace and calm for both you and your child (A Parents Guide 1985). These feelings can be created by holding regularly family home evening lessons and family counsels, both which invite the spirit into your home. This is also created as you break the routine and take time to refresh yourself. Parents and children need time alone to relax and engage in activities and experiences away from the rest of the family (A Parents Guide 1985).
Principle 3: EXPRESS LOVE AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD
Love is the most powerful motivator (A Parents Guide 1985). When you express love towards your child, you help her feel safe and not afraid to ask you questions that may feel vulnerable to ask. As you foster feelings of love towards your child, your desire to address the hard topics with her will increase. Similarly, expressing love for yourself, will help you feel confident and less judgemental of yourself as you do your best and continue to strive to be the best parent for your child (A Parents Guide 1985).
Sources:
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1985). A Parents Guide. Salt Lake City, Utah; Intellectual Reserve, Inc.
Packer, B. K. (1977, December). Ready or Not, You Will Be Taught. Liahona.
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